King of Sammidge

Hi.
I had a really nice sandwich for lunch.

In the wake of the wonderful I'm Fucking Matt Damon, and the brilliant follow up "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck, I don't recommend the paltry I'm Fucking Seth Rogen. It is not as good, no, it is not.

Gah, Christopher Hitchens. What an old bore. He and Stephen Fry debating blasphemy is here

Oh, man, I have a gig tonight. Nerves.

I may be a colossal failure...

I'm gonna make up my own psychometric testing results. I've never done a psychometric test before, so I wouldn't know what the real results would look like. I assume they would look like this:

Jean Sergent, strengths and weaknesses:
Strengths:

• Nice
• Knows a thing or two
• Not psychotic

Weaknesses:

• Indecisive
• Slow on the uptake
• Easily distracted

That Facebook compare people application is doing my head in. Every day I get emails telling me I'm the best singer my friends know, but that I have a crap profile picture. So strange and meaningless. And yet, I shall not delete the application, because it is fun to compare my friends.
SO, if I'm gonna be happily comparing my friends, I must be content to be compared by them. Obviously. I really didn't need that capital so.

Also, I got one email saying that a friend had been comparing me, and that I'd been voted funnier than Hone Kouka

I have to change my gmail signature. For AGES now it has been "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome."
- Steve Zissou
But I think that's getting a little embarrassing...
Howevs, I have no imagination for new options.
Perhaps:

• Oh, Maneesha!
• Non-Stop Dancer
• If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

Mmm, lists. I love a list, me.

She has a name, mother - and it's "Mother"

Easter. Why would ya?

Now, that's not fair. I've had a lovely time so far.

But there's one more whole day to fill with anti-work, and all I can think of doing is working OR nowt. Nowt is winning the race so far.

What kind of blog will this be?

What kind of question is that? Bleugh!

My mum gave me herbal licorice for Easter. I thought that was amazing of her. I'm not crazy about chocolate, although I do like a cream egg. Oh yes. 

What I need is a holiday 'pon which the giving of quiche is the accepted tradition.

Shrove Tuesday has it's place on account of all the pancakes.

For Lent I gave up saying the alphabet backwards. That'll be the first thing I do come morning.

Trips to the library

I finally paid my library fines last week - I couldn't let that $18.60 stunt my growth a second longer - and it felt soooo goooood to walk home with aching shoulders from a bag full of book, cds, dvds and magazines.
At my trip last week I was issued with:
20th Century Eightball by Daniel Clowse
The Quitter by Harvey Pekar
Revolution by Margaret Cho
That Mitchell and Webb Sound
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams
Essentially a coupla big comic books, a coupla comedy cds, and a, well, Douglas Adams book. That I haven't started yet.

Margaret Cho is fucking awesome. it's true that my appreciation of the word "pussy" has increased over the last couple of years, but that my appreciation for the short form of "puss" could exist at all is near on a miracle. witness the greatness.

Went to the lib again yesty, and came away with A History of God, that my rad friend Phil recommended to me. It's by a lady that was gonna be a nun until she realised she wasn't really that big of a Christian... Haven't started it yet, I'll let you know.

And then TODAY I went back AGAIN! Addict, sis. Got a bunch of musics and poetries, but also got an issue of the feminist pop culture magazine Bitch. There's an article in this issue that is a response to that pompous arse Christopher Hitchens mouthing off in Vanity Fair about how women aren't funny. What? Women aren't funny? I know! Sisters are hilarious! But Hitch got a bee in his bonnet/carrot up his ass/whores to pay, and decided to derive the spurious assertion that a woman's ultimate destiny to procreate prevents her from being funny. Yeah. Whatevs, hitch. You have too much money for being a nob.
I should probably articulate some kind of response, but instead... Well... Loads of people posit the view that women aren't funny, or rather, "aren't as funny as men". Balls. Women have less of a powerful presence in the comedy world, but it's the same story in all creative fields. It's true! But unlike, say, playwrights, girls who do comedy have a much smaller chance to prove themselves funny than a dramatis-personae-wielding dame has to prove herself able to construct a theme, form a plot, write dialogue.
I'd say give a funny sister a break, but instead I reckon y'all give a funny sister a listen. In fact, give a bunch of them a watch

I feel like a glass of wine. That's what three nights without a drop will do to you.