In the last 24 hours, I have been chugged 3 times, with varying levels of success.
Chug number one: I’m walking back to work from my Maori lesson, and this sweet young gothy/emo type chugger comes up to me he’s all greasy black hair and piercings, but he’s a very chipper young man, and knows a lot about his charity of choice. I decline to make a commitment to a monthly donation, but listen to his tales of what their schemes are, and vow to make a donation the next time people are out collecting. He thanks me for my time, and we wish each other a good day. Nice.
Chug number two: a little drunk, but just a little mind, I wander home yesterday evening to find my flatmate sitting one the porch with a couple of Greenpeacers, who instantly say “Would you like to join Greenpeace?”. My instant reaction of Fuck Off is stifled by the thought that they might be my flatmate’s friends, in which case I’d rather not be rude. Turns out these dudes had just wandered onto our lawn off the street. Assholes.
I made a monthly donation to Greenpeace for about 3 years. That should let me off the hook FOREVER.
Chug the third: I took a different way to work this morning, and saw some people on Manners Mall collecting for some charity (can’t remember which one, Unicef maybe), and giving out water as well. I was miles away from them, but I really wanted a bottle of water. I decide to keep going, as there’s usually another collector not too far away. I get to Willis St before I see another one, and they stop me and ask if I’d like to donate. The guy who stopped me is a cute English boy, physically reminiscent of Look Around You’s Peter Serafinowicz, who explained to me where my money would be going. I chatted to him for a bit, he complimented me on my generosity and wished me “a very nice day”. Lovely.
Winner: Unicef, or whoever they were, and their attractive and polite chuggers, and their promises of free treats.
Loser: Greenpeace. Honestly Greenpeace, fuck you.
And then the other dude was very nice, and I will give you some money some day.
Meanwhile I will continue to lie to most chuggers I meet. It's just the kind of person I am.
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